A Blossom of pinkness for blossom. .

Monday, 28 January 2013


Am i losing my mojo!!!! i am struggling at the moment with my slavery to Master, a lot of things are and have been happening in my vanilla life that have hindered O/our training sessions, causing me to question my submission to Master.  At the moment i am concerned only with how i am feeling, what i want to do, what i dont want to do, i am not taking into consideration any of Master's feelings, His needs, His wants at this moment in time.  This morning Master instructed me to wear my tack bra and for the first time in the year W/we have been T/together i struggled with this instruction, i said to myself  'i dont want to wear this, if i dont wear it Master will never know'!!!! because W/we are in a LDR....wrong, wrong, wrong, i know this is so wrong but i had to fight with myself this morning to wear it and complete the task that was set me.  i did wear it and have been wearing it all day, even as i write this i am wearing it, its like by wearing it still  im compensating for the doubts that i am having.  its like i have hit a brick wall!!!!, Master says W/we will get back on track, but i cant just turn it back on, im not in that frame of mind.  Has it been all that is happening in my vanilla life that is impacting on me, i have dealt with things before and it has never interferred with my slavery to Master, i am very good at coping with things that are thrown at me, but not on this occasion....should i be feeling like this if my submission is deep within me...where has all my motivation gone???

i am not in my slavery mindset at all, what is happening to me!!! Master and i are still very happy and He is aware of how i am feeling and what my thoughts were today and W/we are dealing with this, He is very understanding and has been very supportive to me throughout what has been happening but i just wanted to know from others have they gone through something like this?, is it a passing phase?, were they able to get back on track again? do you have any helpful suggestions?