A Blossom of pinkness for blossom. .

Saturday, 10 December 2011


As most of us know bdsm experiences can be quite exhausting on both parties whether it be emotional or mental energies and so either or both participants may require comforting, emotional support, tenderness, reassurance etc. O/others may just wish to talk about what happened between them or want to be left alone in their own thoughts. Some may require, kissing, cuddling, making love, praise from ones Owner for that period of time. So a couple of questions i would like to ask my readers.

1. How important is it to you to receive aftercare and

2. If you are in a Long Distance Relationship(LDR) and you require aftercare how
do you get it, what is in place so that you dont feel abandoned after the scene?


  1. You make a great point blossom, that aftercare can be equally important for sub and Dom. I never thought of it that way..that the same way I need tenseness and reassurance, He might need space to be alone with his thoughts, or maybe He needs some level of reassurance as well, just not the same way I might need.

    To me (question 1) aftercare is very important. And (question 2), it's early on really, but so far in this long-distance connection, it works by him reassuring me and showing that he cares through his words. I won't deny though that the distance is hard. However I think even if he lived closer, it wouldn't be that different. As for aftercare to Him..not sure if he'd call it that, but I think taking care of myself and respecting him is the way I show caring back. Oh and some heartfelt IM messages.

    Thanks for the questions:)



  2. Lol..I meant tenderness. Not tenseness. Lol..

  3. I have discovered that aftercare is essential part of what need. This came from being with someone who didn't provide me with it.
    I tried to attached some links for long distance in but it wouldn't let me so I will email them to you.
    Hope it helps


  4. Yes, I think aftercare is very important in a relationship. I can't imagine not having aftercare, especially in a D/s relationship.


  5. I believe that aftercare is essential. I wrote a post on it a while back, with the main point being that when you're done, you're not done. Meaning...that when your scene or playtime is over, that's not the end of it. Just as you ramped things up, you have to slowly ease them back down. To me aftercare solidifies the emotions and feelings you just went through, and brings it all together. Aftercare is vital and should never be overlooked.


  6. Great questions, blossom :)

    From my very limited experience, I felt especially cared for afterward with my DMs soothing words via email. I can not imagine surrendering and having NO aftercare. And, I think it's probably just as important for the Dom. :)

    Thanks for posing an interesting question. I'll be coming back to see others responses.

    Take care. Sky

  7. While I do agree with others that aftercare is essential, I also think care is, in and of itself, essential. If you have pre-care, during-care and after-care it all fits rather nicely, doesn't it?

    To me the very definition of love is caring for another, sometimes at great expense to the self (and I'm not talking about diamond rings--I'm talking about sacrifice in general). That care needs to be evidence throughout all stages of both a scene and a relationship.

  8. Hi K thank you, i would agree with you in that re-assuring words mean a lot to each other after scening together.

    Thank you sbf for your links i have had a quick look at them also, i agree with you i also had a LDR where no aftercare was given to me, so i do feel it is vitally important that there should be some sign of affection.

    Thanks FD i think we all agree how important it is, i would be interested in knowing what type of aftercare a Dom shows his sub if they are in a LDR.

    Thank you DV i havent had a chance to look out your post on it previously but i will, it nice to know we are all singing from the same hymn book..lol.

    Hi sky, yes soothing words and little messages mean an awful lot when it comes to showing aftercare. i feel that it is important too to express to your Dom your feelings after.

    Hi Wolf yes you have summed it all up with the pre, during and aftercare, it is needed throughout and does fit nicely. i love it when you say that care needs to be evident throughout all stages of both a scene and a relationship, sometimes submissives dont receive this or not enough of it.